Your members come from everywhere — complete beginners walking through your doors for the first time to seasoned athletes who have trained at gyms across the country. But here’s the thing: they’re all doing the same movements. A dumbbell snatch is a dumbbell snatch, right?
Not exactly.
So what makes someone fall in love with your affiliate? What keeps them coming back, even when you program burpees AND an Echo bike in the same workout?
Sure, community matters. Programming helps. But let’s talk about the real game-changer: you.
You’re Not Just Teaching Movement
Yeah, your credentials matter. Of course, you need to manage a class, teach proper form, and keep things fun. And it’s cool when you can demo those skills everyone wants to learn. But that’s not what makes you invaluable.
You can be the difference between someone just working out and someone transforming their life.
The Real Relationship
Here’s what most people miss: the coach-athlete relationship isn’t about you teaching and them learning. It’s a two-way street. You need each other.
Your athletes need you to help them improve and acquire new skills. You need them so you can grow as a coach and find your specialty. You feed off each other’s energy — the energy you bring shapes what you receive in return.
So, how do you know if you’re “getting” it? Maybe you can think of some individuals you feel you have a strong relationship with, or you can picture what an “ideal” coach-athlete relationship might be, but what exactly does it mean? Just as there were key technical points to refining your snatch, there are four key elements to an effective coach-athlete relationship.
Four Keys to Nailing It
Closeness: This is your emotional connection. Do you actually like each other? Do they trust you? Are you genuinely supportive? This doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s everything. Some athletes will openly discuss their goals right away, while others require time. Create space for it to grow — this is what sets great coaches and affiliates apart.
Use the warm-up as an opportunity to establish personal connections with your members. Rather than asking generic questions, opt to ask more meaningful questions that help you get to know who the members are outside the walls of the affiliate. The key here? Follow up on the things you learn! Your efforts here are crucial to establishing rapport with members and fostering a sense of community among all class members. Discover what matters most to your members, and let it matter to you too.
Be sure also to use every person’s name in the class at least once (ideally more!). When you’re encouraging members in the heat of the workout, it’s not just, “Great work, everyone!” — it’s, “Great work, Josh!” It’s paying attention when Sandy takes that extended break to say, “You got this, Sandy. Keep going!”
Never underestimate the power of making people feel seen.
Commitment: Everyone’s “best” looks different, but it takes guts to show up and give it your all. You need to show every single person that their goals matter — even if they’re decidedly different from everyone else’s in class.
Let’s say Carly is working toward her first strict pull-up. When pull-ups come up in programming, take that extra second to give her a specific cue. Small move, huge impact. Now she sees you as someone who actually cares about her journey and remembers her goals. And when she finally gets that pull-up, you’ll be the first person she wants to tell.
Complementarity: Are you a good fit? You won’t click with every athlete, and that’s fine. Perhaps you enjoy working with competitive individuals, new mothers, legends, or teenagers. The key is finding that harmony where your coaching style meshes with their personality and needs.
The best way to find out if your coaching style aligns with other folks? Be yourself. Let your members see your personality; let your passion shine through in your coaching. The more authentically your personality is integrated into your coaching, the more likely you are to feel connected to those whose personality genuinely aligns with yours.
Don’t forget to meet members where they’re at, though. Even if you have competitive ambitions and you most enjoy working with like-minded individuals, we still need to tailor our approach to the member in front of us. Personalize your encouragement so it’s relevant to the individual. Hungry, competitive individuals in your class? Give ‘em a bit more intensity; encourage them to pick up the wall ball a little sooner. Newer, less-experienced members in class? Consider focusing more on positive reinforcement and encouragement for their next class!
Co-Orientation: When you and your athletes are on the same page, magic happens. Your receptiveness will help them be honest about their goals, current abilities, and what they need and hope for from this relationship. In turn, you need to be clear about how you can help and what that entails on a day-to-day basis. This requires genuine communication and a willingness to be vulnerable with one another. When you nail the other three elements, this one gets a lot easier.
Have you ever heard the expression “clear is kind”? To be on the same page with members, you have to communicate effectively. When you’re giving feedback or corrections, give the why, even if it’s just a minor detail. For example, it’s not just, “On your next clean, keep the arms long in your pull” — it’s, “On your next clean, keep the arms long in your pull so your legs can do more of the work!” The more you foster open and clear communication, the more likely members are to feel that you are also receptive to their questions, thoughts, and concerns.
Another way to encourage alignment between coaches and members is to consider implementing a “Goals” board. This might be a whiteboard or chalkboard in a visible area of the gym that gets updated every six months or annually. Not only is articulating goals beneficial to the member, but this is also a low-barrier way to learn more about your members’ “why.” You can use this information as a foundation for tailoring your coaching and fostering a deeper connection with them by asking questions about their goals. It doesn’t hurt that it feels good to celebrate your accomplishments with others, too!
Make It Happen
First, you need to buy into this. Recognize that you bring massive value beyond just knowing how to coach a clean. Every athlete in your gym deserves the same level of relationship-building, whether they’re gunning for the Games or just trying to keep up with their kids.
Make every interaction count. Meet people where they are. Discover what motivates them and how you can provide the most effective support.
Your relationships with athletes are worth more than any PR on the leaderboard. More than Fran times or Diane scores. The coach-athlete connection you build, more than anything else, is likely what will keep someone coming back for years, if not decades.
Not sure where to start? Take a peek at this short eBook for an overview of the coach-athlete relationship and the value of fostering these partnerships. At the end of the eBook, you will find a worksheet based on the COMPASS model for developing strategies to enhance and maintain the coach-athlete relationship. You can complete this worksheet with your athletes or use it on your own to prompt reflection on the behaviors you can demonstrate to improve your relationships with athletes more broadly.
Bottom line: You’re not just running classes. You’re changing lives, one relationship at a time.
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