Empathizing with the Ego and Elevating Your CrossFit Member's Experience

When I first stepped into a CrossFit gym, I wasn’t prepared for the emotional weight it would carry. For me, fitness was tied to years of avoiding athletic activities, being picked last, and carrying the emotional baggage of failing the gymnastics unit in P.E. Running marathons became my refuge — me against myself. But I wanted more and found CrossFit, a space where fitness became social, competitive, and surprisingly revealing.

For example, mastering double-unders has eluded me despite countless attempts over 11 years. I never imagined a little rope could leave me heartbroken — a feeling I thought was unique until I heard Camille Leblanc-Bazinet share a similar experience. This isn’t just my story. Many members bring emotional baggage tied to self-worth, body image, or aging. Telling them to “leave your ego at the door” isn’t enough. As coaches, we need to guide members in managing their ego, transforming it into a tool for growth and resilience.

What is Ego?

Ego isn’t just arrogance; it’s our self-perception — our fears, ambitions, and self-worth. In the gym, it shows up as frustration when scaling workouts or embarrassment when modifying movements. Instead of suppressing ego, we can help members channel it constructively.

Here’s how:

#1 – Create a Supportive Culture

Foster a gym environment that celebrates effort and personal wins, not comparisons.

• Celebrate milestones: Highlight attendance, CrossFit Open participation, or persistence through setbacks.
• Showcase diverse stories: Share the achievements of all members, from scaled workouts to overcoming injuries.
• Reframe success: Use growth-oriented language like, “That split jerk looked smooth,” focusing on progress over performance.
• Shift scaling language: Frame modifications positively. “Find a weight that feels like a moderate 7 out of 10 effort for you” instead of “If you’re not strong enough, do X.”

#2 – Offer Individualized Coaching

Guide athletes to focus on personal progress over comparison.

• Set specific goals: Encourage tailored objectives, like unbroken sets or smoother transitions.
• Encourage reflection: To build self-awareness, ask members to identify what went well after workouts.
• Get creative with modifications: Offer meaningful alternatives for injuries or limitations, celebrating these with the same enthusiasm as Rx’d achievements.

#3 – Turn Setbacks into Growth

Help athletes see setbacks — injuries, aging, or plateaus — as opportunities.

• Celebrate persistence: Praise those who show up despite challenges and welcome them with genuine enthusiasm.
• Highlight wins beyond the gym: Recognize how members apply their fitness gains to life outside workouts.

#4 – Balance Push with Patience

Develop the skill of knowing when to push and when to hold back.

• Understand thresholds: Learn your athletes’ physical and emotional limits. Start low, go slow.
• Communicate openly: Ask questions like, “How does it feel to manage this injury while training?” Listen, understand, and empathize.
• Focus on progress over perfection: Remind members that growth is not linear and takes many forms.

#5 – Promote a Long-Term Perspective

Fitness isn’t a short-term sprint; it’s a lifelong mission. Help members adopt a sustainable, big-picture approach to fitness.

• Reframe goals: Connect workouts to longevity, functional fitness, and mental clarity, emphasizing life over workout scores.
• Share personal stories: Be open about your challenges and how you’ve adapted.
• Highlight recovery: Teach the importance of rest and balance, especially as members age or face setbacks.

Managing ego in the gym isn’t about suppressing it; it’s about knowing your members’ needs and helping them channel their emotions constructively. CrossFit isn’t just about physical fitness; it’s a space for emotional and personal growth. As coaches, we have the unique opportunity to create a space where this pursuit can be undertaken in a way that is safe, inclusive, and empowering for everyone.

Let’s move to recognize the ego as a necessary part of the process and work together to transform it into a tool for resilience, connection, and growth.

about the author

Amy Freeman is a social worker at the Clinic for Alzheimer’s Disease and Related Disorders at UBC’s Djavad Mowafaghian Centre for Brain Health, where she specializes in supporting individuals and families navigating cognitive health challenges. She is an exercise instructor for the BC Brain Wellness Program and the nutrition lead at Empower Fitness, where she also coaches the “Fit Over Forty” and “Women’s Lift Over Forty” programs. A CrossFit Level 3 Certified Trainer, Amy embraces CrossFit’s scalable movements and principles to help individuals of all fitness levels achieve their goals. She shares her passion for fitness with a wide range of individuals, including her 81-year-old mother, who now feels stronger than ever.