How Not To Get Eaten by a Zombie

We’ve all wondered at one time or another: Would I survive a zombie apocalypse?

As Hollywood teaches us, you’d probably need to run very fast. Maybe scamper over a wall or scramble through some rubble. You’d have to carry your gear through all that, of course. There’d be hoisting and ax-swinging. Lots of ax-swinging.

So, would you make it? Well, what’s your fitness program look like? If you’ve never run fast, lifted heavy, and moved your body onto or over an obstacle — all in the same workout — you’re getting eaten first.

Photo by Max Shippee of CrossFit 1440.

I joke. But also, I don’t.

Modern life may be cushy, but you never know what will happen. And even if you never need to flee a bear or clear a clifftop, the more well rounded your fitness, the more freedom you’ll have to enjoy a broad swath of life’s activities — and the longer you’ll be able to do so.

That means your training needs to be well rounded, too. In CrossFit, we call that “variance,” and it results in fitness that is broad, general, and inclusive. CrossFit athletes train not to be the strongest, fastest, or most gymnasty but rather to develop all aspects of physical fitness to their greatest capacities. This means we train without specializing in any one skill at the expense of others.

In practice, it looks like deadlifts, cleans, squats, presses, clean and jerks, and snatches. It means practicing the basics of gymnastics as well as biking, swimming, rowing, and running, mixing all these elements in as many combinations as creativity will allow. You’re training for life — what we call general physical preparedness (GPP).

As CrossFit Seminar Staff Flowmaster Pablo Cervigni says, “The idea is not to be just good inside of the gym. The idea is to be good.”

Even zombies gotta train. Photo by Andrew Irvine.

“But I love marathons,” you might say. Or rock climbing. Or skiing.

Good news! Training for GPP alongside your sport-specific training will make you a better specialist, too. As CrossFit’s founder, Greg Glassman, wrote, “Every athlete we’ve worked with, from Olympic medalists to UFC legends, has some glaring chink in his/her GPP. … Fixing these chinks, these deficiencies, has immediate benefit within your sport and very often in ways not quite obvious mechanically and perhaps metabolically.

“For instance, more pull-ups make for better skiing and skiers. Upper-body pushing movements make for better rowing and rowers. Anaerobic training is a boon to endurance athletes. … CrossFit will for many sports reduce the total training volume, reduce training injuries, and allow more time for vital sport-specific skills and drills.”

Here’s the thing about training for GPP, though: You’ve got to do the stuff you don’t like. There’s a saying: “We fail at the margins of our experience.” So if you never practice — or really strive to improve upon — your weaknesses, you’ll always have a gap in your GPP.

And what good is it that you can outlift a zombie if you can’t outrun one, too?