We had two of those negative/naughty people you refer to. We lost one last summer when we switched to contracts (no loss really). The other one is still around and continues to distract, complain, whine, and generally seek attention. I think it's a mental condition. I've been trying to find a way to invite her to leave and cancel her contract, but it's a little more complicated than that. Her husband, great guy, trains with us too and we don't want to lose him. We try hard to ignore her and turn her complaining around on her when we can. Her antics remind me a lot of high school!

tell him to STFU, err tell me to. Ok, I don't seek attention, I hate it but I talk and sometimes question authority waaaayyyyy too much.

Because we're a non-profit military organization, it may be a bit different, but here's my two cents:

From what I've experienced, those kind of people (negative/disruptive) get weeded out of our group very quickly. We don't ridicule them, we don't disclude them, and we don't single them out...they do that themselves.

I truly believe that the positive energy that radiates off of our other members can do one of two things: it can either persuade the negative person to change their perspective, or it can cause them to politely leave.

I've never had to actually tell someone to leave, but I have come close a few times. The bottom line for me is this:

I strive to give my members 100% while I am training them, motivating them, and leading by example. If someone doesn't want to reciprocate that energy (while outwardly being negative about it) then they don't belong in our group. And my members - not me - will normally let them know...either by telling them or showing them how serious we are about what we do.

They tend to get the hint rather quickly...

Interesting topic. We were just discussing this last night after one of the most grueling and mentally/emotionally straining classes we had ever taught. Two of these naughties were in at the same time and just as positive energy breeds positive energy, negative energy does the same, as Brian touched on (btw, I keep close tabs on what your affiliate is up to out there! I pull from the positive energy YOU all have, all the way out here in Virginia Beach! Keep it up!).

After we vented and released some of the pressure, we were talking baout how to handle the situation, in a way that is most beneficial for all. Certainly there is the thought of just axing them. Clean, hard and fast. Straight to the point, "You are disruptive, you are draining others positive juju...have a nice life." However, as much as the THOUGHT of that seems satisfying, a move like that requires a complete and utter lack of morals and ethics, human kindness and compassion, understanding and hope...and that is not what we are about here, it is not WHO we are.

Although we are 75-80% military, or spouses of military, members tend not to get involved in anything other than motivating of their fellow crossfitters...even the naughty ones. They certainly may choose different class times to come in in order to avoid unnessasary depleting of their tanks, but rarely do we ever know about this until months afterward.

As irratating as these people can be, and as disruptive as they can be at times, they are still trying to improve themselves. "Only the serious need apply. If you do not have the type of commitment that is needed, do not waste your time or ours" Is a wonderful moto. However, sometimes the awareness that people have that type of commitment doesn't surface until sometime into crossfit. THEN a change begins to take place.

Knowing when and where to draw the line is...difficult to define. Refocusing on the fact that these naughty people are the extreme minority, and that the vast majority of members DO have the level of commitment to themselves that is needed, helps us to just roll with the punches, and take it one step at a time.

Things work out.....they always do!

JroCk

Accept the Challenge, Train Hard and Push Through "IT"!

We have also, so far, had two of these people come in. The first guy told me that he "
wasn't going to do..." any thing with back extension (i.e. deadlifts, back/ hip extensions etc...) so I handed him his check back and told him to get the F out, I don't need his money and I don't need him polluting the waters at CF Agoge.

The second was a woman who wasn't telling me what we could and couldn't do but was generally negative. Problem was she was/ is an absolute beast in the gym and would only do enough, seemingly to just not come in second place. So we had it out, she said she may quit, I said I would be disappointed but could handle it. She asked what could be done to fix things, I told her and said that I would back off if she fixed herself, I will share her latest email to me here:

"I just wanted to thank you so much for giving me back what I had lost and helping me to get something I've never had. First, as you know, I feel free again. I felt trapped in my body over the last few years, even prior to my disc injury. I love sports, but felt I would never be able to do the things I had done before. Now I'm doing the things I love that I haven't done for ten or fifteen years. I had virtually given up on surfing. I had tried to do so a year ago August and was unable to even catch a wave. This year it was as if I had never skipped a beat from high school. Additionally, skiing down a mogully run was possible without the incredible ache in my back or knees. As trivial as all this might seem in a world full of profound concerns, this mean the world to me!

What has changed? Why was I able to do it now versus two or three years ago? It was because of two people who have kept on me to keep improving, work on my form, keep striving, and who have truly believed in me. I know I can be obnoxious and difficult to be around, but you guys have stuck with me and for that I THANK YOU!!

And with that, you two are helping me to approach challenges in a new way. Rather than doubting myself or thinking how hard something is going to be first, it's nice to finally start thinking prior that I actually can do it! Not only in working out, but in everything. Thank you!

Kelly, you have been a "rock" for me. I draw inspiration from just watching you being mom, an instructor,a professional, and an athlete and doing it all so gracefully. Thank you for being a great role model!

John, so much to say about you! Straightforward, passionate about life, caring, driven, and witty! I appreciate your encouragement each and every day! Thank You!

Have a Blessed Thanksgving John, Kelly, Quinn, and Wesleigh! From one of your greatest fans!"

#5 John Brown

Great story and a great example.

Much of the time people have developed a cycle of negativity in their lives that is near impossible to break. They can literally drive themselves to failure out of a fear of success. Maybe they're subconsciously thinking, "What if I try my hardest and still fail?" So instead of giving 100%, they provide themselves with excuses not to succeed. Sounds crazy but I've seen it time and time again and not just with crossfit.

Bottom line, you've done an amazing thing for your client here.

We have not experienced that kind of negaitivity here at CrossFit USA but sooner or later it comes to us all.Negative energy of that kind is a cancer to the mood of the gym.Once a determintation has been made that this type of person is not going to change we owe it to the people who sweat,toil and strive(and pay!)to provide the most conducive atmosphere possible for all.Get rid o f them!

Good topic. I haven't experienced as many cases of 'bad attitude' as I have 'won't do this or that', but I enjoy hearing how everyone deals with the naughty people. This knowledge will likely come in handy at some point.

I tend to treat the 'won't do this or that' people differently than I do my serious athletes. I'll baby the whiners. Hell, sometimes I'll even alter their WOD's to heed their complaints. After all, this is fitness; they're only cheating themselves, cliche as it sounds.

It's all about business when it comes to my real athletes, however. They'll get the serious workouts and the serious coaching. After time the whiners notice they're being treated like children, and some find the urge to 'grow up' and maybe start hitting their WOD's like adults (no offense to CF kids.)

I guess it's sort of passive/agressive, but the problem children tend to get the point after awhile. It all comes down to personal responsibility and the 'lead a horse to water but can't make it drink' thing.

We've had a few difficult people here. Most have either straightened out or left... one teters back and forth.

My worst (but fine with me) example is a fella who would cheat everything, argue constantly about mechanics and totally just not listen to any coaching/instruction. I was as patient as I could be with this guy because most everyone comes around eventually. Then one day when he was trying to argue with me AGAIN, I basically flipped the switch and went off. Afterward, I quickly apologised to everyone, but everyone said he had it coming and one guy (our strongest btw) even said "Man, I was about to kick his ass!" We haven't seen this guy since that day and I'm totally cool with it.

One lady used to just fight me tooth and nail about everything. I was as patient as I could be... then I pretty much told her "if you're gonna be here this is how it's gonna be - you can take your nonsense elsewhere." She has since become one of my best clients and even threw me a x-mas party on her dime!

One guy I called out in front of the group... another I pulled aside and explained that I didn't want to kick him out, but I would. Both methods yeilded the same results (still here, behaving better) but the second approach was better for sure.

Every attempt I have at dealing with the naughty people usually ends up in someone leaving the gym. I need to learn some more tactful ways of dealing with this. I'm all ears. Please keep the suggestions coming.

Usually folks like that weed themselves out and we don't have to worry about it.

We don't run a democracy at our gym, so everyone listens. If they don't listen and don't adjust coaching - we make them stop and explain without regard for workout time.

And another way of getting the negative person more positive and upbeat:

Give them a sledgehammer and send them outside to beat the crap out of the big tire. 100-200 hits total usually do the trick!

Old Maxim: You can't spit shine a turd.

Flush turds.

#12 - Ha! Doug says to flush them!

We had one naughty CrossFitter who liked to cheat on his reps. He also likes to ask for favors...he wanted his membership put on hold, he paid for a month of unlimited but only came twice, so he wanted a credit, he wanted us to text him the workout every day so he knew whether or not the drive was "worth it"...he was a drain on my patience to say the least.

Everyone knew he wasn't doing the whole workout, and when it finally started having an impact on the rest of my group, I said goodbye to Mr. Naughty. Told him that I didn't think he was a good fit for our gym. It wasn't anything personal...we just could tell that he wasn't fully bought in to the CrossFit methodology, so maybe he should go back to globogym and save himself the $150/month. I asked if he disagreed....and he was speechless. Put the decision back on the Naughty CrossFitter. "Do you feel like you're a good fit for this gym? Do you feel that you could improve your behavior so the rest of the group can be productive when you're around?"

We have a Burpee Board of Shame.
Rule 1: 5 burpees for every minute late
Rule 2: 10 burpees for saying can't in any form
Rule 3: 40 burpees for any negativity
Rule 4: 40 burpees for any excuses
Rule 5: 40 burpees for showing up without an appt
Rule 6: 40 burpees for not showing to appt
Rule 7: 40 burpees for negativity towards another member
Rule 8: 40 burpees for not checking ego at door
Rule 9: 40 burpees for arguing with trainer
Rule 10: 40 burpees for whining
Rule 11: 40 burpees for cheating or not counting correctly
Rule 12: 40 burpees for not giving 100% every wod.

All of our members follow this board. If they break a rule they get called out in class and have to do the burpees. Funny thing is when someone breaks a rule now in class, the whole class is like ohhhhh and they laugh and do the burpees. The people that constantly break the rules are called out and asked to straighten up or just not come back. This has worked wonders for us. The great thing about this as well is that it transfers into life as well. Some of our members say when they are at home, they break a rule, they laugh and think of the burpee board

#14 Trebor

That is such a great idea! I am going to borrow it...punishment and reform by burpee...how wonderful!

CrossFit is a group concept. Negative energy from negative members will infect the atmosphere. We don't have people who cheat numbers or argue with trainers. We have had people who just don't "get into it". For the most part, they either love it or hate it. We find it more productive to focus on people who believe in CrossFit than to change the minds of the ones who don't. There are many approaches and it can be "draining". When I start feeling stessed, frustrated, and tired, something has to change. I have had a few experiences with some very athletic females who just, in their words, "want my butt kicked". They were bored with instruction on those silly exercises like squats, deadlifts, and pull-ups. News flash, you have to know the movements before you use them to "kick your butt". I used to humor their viewpoint but no more. It's our way, period. They left.

There's our treeeeee!! Yeeaaaaa

One "naughty" guy who worked-out hard enough at xfitting,... but his negative energy (self-anger?) just pervaded through the gym. There's a difference between being obnoxious and just plain noxious. Thank the universe that circumstances just had him stop coming...
Otherwise, as a trainer I understand that sometimes ya just gonna be "hated" haha -- when I'm in the MIDDLE of the frenzy, I know my adrenaline & hormones are flying -- it is a BLESSING, that all of us vent and curse, and when it's all over we just understand that no apology is required. In fact, I take it as a sign of encouragement when a noob turns the corner and throws a FU at me hahaha! It means they've moved PAST drowning in the "I'm gonna die" stage and onto the "who can I hurl this at", and then it's on to the I AM A SPARTAN I'M KILLIN' THIS! one. ;)
But even for any (initial) "back-talkers", once they understand that I can tell them how to do this because I DO it, they usually come around. Some of my best clients/friends are ones I've "broken in" heh heh,

I am very thankful to say, we have not had any 'naughty' members. Occasionally someone might whine a little, but the typical response is, "nobody cares...get to work!"

The environment and attitude of our facilities turns lemons into lemonade upon entry into our door.

We have had a very negative client that infected an entire class with his negativity. The class became one we all dreaded to teach. He would yell out profanities, throw his jump rope, say this was "f'n stupid", and cracked a kettlebell. You never knew what would set him off.

The day he told off a trainer/co-owner, we sat him down with a laundry list of things we would no longer tolerate and if they continued, he would be "fired"! He has since become one of our champion clients who tries his best AND he apologized to several other clients.

Cancer spreads and fast- get rid of them as fast as possible.
No need for it. No need to spoil good positive energy in your gym, no membership fee is ever worth the cost of the possible destruction of the good you create.
However, 9 times out of 10 they know it when they walk in, and walk back out. Your good energy just does not feel right to them. They don't get the support they need for their excuses or whining.
The one dork who is too dense to notice he does not fit the program just needs to be told to leave. This type of person never surprises you by changing, they only surprise you by never changing.

1st infraction- 10 burpees doubling every time after. Lay it and either do it or go home. 100 instant burpees for infractions that are intolerable. I started using this last year during our workouts and found quite some success more than anything I had used before.

I liked hearing other people's solutions so I can see if I can improve myself.

There are two sides to every story -- including this one.

I speak as a "naughty" client who was fired by an affiliate owner after he took nearly $1,000 of my money for a combination of group classes and personal training. I was at the gym almost 5 days a week. But, after more than four months, I could still barely squat and my weightlifting form remained so poor that the trainer was reluctant to let me pick up a bar.

I think there comes a point where a relationship just goes into a tailspin. It becomes impossible to pull up....despite sincere efforts on both sides. I certainly accept some share of the responsibility. I re-hashed the whole experience with a third party: a trainer who knows both me and the CrossFit owner. He said sometimes client/trainee relationships just don't work out, but, on the other hand, "you might just be an asshole."

Part of the problem was that my hips and hamstrings were incredibly tight due to years of distance running. I have since concluded that the CrossFit owner had no idea what to do with me. Despite much effort, he simply lacked the required skill and expertise.

I have since made great progress with a trainer at another gym who had me in a sort of "pre-hab" program for weeks. This involved band squats, hurdle ducks, spider crawls and much else. The new trainer has had hundreds of hours of training and is studying kinesiology. The CrossFit affiliate owner had no fitness background aside from attending a weekend certification seminar. Might there be a connection?

I do agree that it's easy to get into a cycle of negativity. But it was frustrating to be told only to "squat lower" and "practice, practice, practice". I was also told me to "accept personal responsibility" for my actions and even ridiculed in front of the class. I found this a bit much.

Finally, the owner told me the time had come for us "to part company, hopefully amicably" because CrossFit "isn't a good match for you."

In retrospect, the owner was probably right to pull the plug. By that time, things had gone too far downhill. But had he been more skilled, things might have turned out differently. And if another client with my tightness problems walks into his gym tomorrow, the owner probably still wouldn't know what to do.

Don't get me wrong. My time was not wasted. I recorded big performance gains in run times and some (non-lifting) benchmark workouts. I also lost 15 pounds and four inches.
My interest in fitness was re-kindled.

I write only to point out what should be obvious to any fair-minded person: when a client gets fired, sometimes the trainer has a share of the responsibility.