Affiliates: TUESDAY 080715

July 15, 2008

TUESDAY 080715

CrossFit Clarksville shows a little mojo on the veranda portion of their garage affiliate.

Andy Petranek and the gang over at Petranek Fitness recently made the FOX/LA news: video

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Ever see the movie Bull Durham? Remember the speech that Crash gives about what he believes in? Well, we adapted it for CrossFit . . .

Crash says, among a list of other things: "I believe in the soul . . . high fiber . . . good scotch . . . I believe there should be a Constitutional Amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter."

Here, with sincere apologies to "Bull Durham" writer Ron Shelton, is the CrossFit version:

I believe in the soul. Metabolic conditioning. The deadlift. The pull-up. The lumbar curve of your back. The hang snatch. High box jumps. Good nuts. That the writings of most "exercise scientists" are reactionary, overrated crap. I believe that Jack LaLanne fathered us all. I believe there ought to be a Constitutional Amendment outlawing the Smith Machine and the quarter-squat. I believe in the Olympic bar, rubber bumper plates, and dumping weights from overhead if you have to. And I believe in long, slow, after-WOD soreness that lasts for three days.

Posted by Lisbeth at July 15, 2008 2:00 AM

Comments

"Oh Crash..."

Comment #1 - Posted by: JB at July 15, 2008 4:33 AM

That's awesome. I can almost picture Kevin Costner saying that to Susan Sarandon... and what woman wouldn't swoon over such poetry?

Comment #2 - Posted by: Adam K at July 15, 2008 5:35 AM

Modified from Annie Savoys opening narration, "Bull Durham", (1988). Courtesy of www.imdb.com.

"I believe in the prescription of CrossFit. I've tried all the major exercise programs, and most of the minor ones. I've done circuit training, spin classes, powerlifting, yoga, triathlons, running, pilates, creatine and leg days. I know things. For instance, doing 108 arm curls with descending weight will give your biceps 10x more of a pump than regular curls. When I read that in Muscle and Fitness, I gave Supersets a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The fitness industry blew too much smoke in my face. I prefer results to promises. You see, there's no smoke in CrossFit, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex. There's never been an athlete that joined this box that didn't go on to be in the best shape of their life. Making love is like finishing Karen: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never have an elderly or inflexible client try to Snatch... not unless they had a good overhead squat and great midline stability. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these guys. I can help remove their limitations. Sometimes when I've got a small class, we'll just Clean and Jerk low weight AMRAP for 20 minutes, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and finish. 'Course, a guy'll do anything if he thinks it might pop up at the 2009 CrossFit Games. I make them grow strong, and they provide my livelihood, and friendship. 'Course, the coaching I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 'till the end of the month or membership. Sometimes it seems like I charge a lot for basic WODs people could do at a big box. But virtuosity is part of CrossFit - and who can forget PR-ing Fight Gone Bad at an affiliates box, for God's sake? It's a long journey and you gotta trust. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only program that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the prescription of CrossFit."

Inspired Lisbeth's quote from one of my favorite movies :)

How did I do on my citation Lis?

Comment #3 - Posted by: jb at July 15, 2008 5:37 AM

Congrats on making fox news Andy! It's great to get the name out there. I'm sure people will want to come in just to check out all of the great looking clients/trainers if anything :)

Comment #4 - Posted by: miki at July 15, 2008 11:12 AM

You know what that makes non-CrossFitters, don't you? Lollygaggers.

Comment #5 - Posted by: Tami at July 15, 2008 4:55 PM

Jack LaLanne invented the Smith Machine...kind of contradictory

Comment #6 - Posted by: Sam at July 15, 2008 6:50 PM

Ah, poetic license . . .

Comment #7 - Posted by: Lisbeth at July 15, 2008 8:06 PM

Thank you for posting that picture! Everyone enjoys feeling part of the larger community. Congratulations to Patranek Fitness well deserved publicity!

Comment #8 - Posted by: d.frazier - CF Clarksville at July 16, 2008 5:40 AM

Sam- You will be happy to know that UNCLE Jack LaLanne is all for CrossFit. I wish you could have heard him speak at our Grand Opening Celebration on Saturday. Don't forget- he also did 1,000 pushups and 1,000 pullups in an hour = CrossFit. :)

Comment #9 - Posted by: Maribel LaLanne at July 16, 2008 3:56 PM

JB, for some reason, your post got delayed earlier so I just now saw it and I'm still laughing. Nice work! (And you know Annie Savoy would so LOVE shirtless CrossFit!)

Also, extra credit to Tami for the lollygagger line -- one of my all-time favorites.